The Bald Goat

I awoke one day in the middle of a field.  I was surrounded by hundreds of orange things of all different sizes.  I did not know what was going on.  I heard someone say, “Wow this is going to be a big one!”  There was a man in overalls looking down at me.  He was talking about me!  What did he mean?  He rolled me over and I could see a small boy standing next to him.  “Jim,” the man said to the boy, “we have to roll them a little every other day so that they don’t get an ugly spot on one side.”   I was one of these orange things too!

I was a pumpkin!

Jim was very careful to help his dad to roll the pumpkins and he made sure that he did not let our stems get twisted either!  I really liked Jim.  He was such a good boy.  Always very careful and it felt good to be rolled every other day.  I knew I must be special.  It seemed like the man would bring people out to see me.  I could not keep count of how many people would come to the field where I grew and look around at the pumpkins.

One day I noticed that the people were not just looking at the pumpkins, but they would take the older ones and cut their stems and take them home with them.  The people looked so very happy that I hoped that someday someone would take me home with them.  But the man would always tell people that they couldn’t have me.  He said that I was Jim’s pumpkin!  I was so excited to know that Jim would be taking me home.

The day finally came when Jim would take me home.  He came to the field with a knife and cut my stem.  This didn’t feel too good, but I thought it couldn’t be that bad.  Surely the pain would go away and I would have such a good time living with Jim.  Jim took me home and set me on the front porch.  He went inside and when he had a strange look on his face.  I was excited, but at the same time, it made me nervous the way Jim was looking at me.  Jim sat down next to me and picked me up and put me in his lap.  I was so glad he was holding me.  I felt comforted to know that Jim cared about me.  Suddenly there was a sharp pain at my top.  Jim was cutting into me.  He cut a big circle all around my stem and opened me up.  He began removing my insides and scraping to get everything out.  The pain was excruciating.  I yelled for him to stop and begged, but he could not hear me.

I was just a pumpkin.

This was my fate.

It seemed like the torture would go on forever.  Jim must have spent an hour or two cutting, carving, scraping and gouging.  Finally, Jim put me down and stood up to look at me.  He had a smile on his face.  I could still feel the pain from his torture, but the smile on his face was not evil or menacing, but happy.  Whatever he had done to me had made him happy.  He ran inside and came back out with a candle and matches.  He put fire inside me.

It was warm.

It felt good to be warm…like when I used to sit in the field in the sun.

——————

I wrote this story back in 2004 when I worked at the Boys & Girls Club in Abilene, TX.  I love to pull it out at this time of year!  Hope you enjoyed a little trip into the darker parts of my mind!

I was recently introduced to the song “Black Swan Song” by Athlete on twitter.  I really like this band and this song is amazing!  I have embedded the video to this song a little further down the post, but first I want us to get our minds in the right area.  I want us to look at a couple of terms  that I believe are referenced in this song.

First is the term “swan song”.  Many of you may have heard this term before, but here is how Wikipedia defines it:

The phrase “swan song” is a reference to an ancient belief that the Mute Swan is completely mute during its lifetime until the moment just before it dies, when it sings one beautiful song.

Not actually true, but the imagery is so appealing that it has been used in literature over the centuries many, many times.  By extension, “swan song” has become an idiom referring to a final theatrical or dramatic appearance, or any final work or accomplishment. It generally carries the connotation that the performer is aware that this is the last performance of his or her lifetime, and is expending everything in one magnificent final effort.

Stick this idea in the back of your mind for a little bit.  We will come back to it in a minute.

The second term is “black swan”.  Again I have found great information about this term from Wikipedia:

The term Black Swan comes from the 17th century European assumption that ‘All swans are white’. In that context, a black swan was a symbol for something that was impossible or could not exist.  This all changed of course when black swans were discovered in Western Australia in the 18^th Century.

It is like when people today say, “Well, that will happen when pigs fly!”  or “When hell freezes over!”  It is just a way of saying that whatever you are talking about will never happen.

The Black Swan Theory concerns high-impact, hard-to-predict, and rare events beyond the realm of normal expectations.  Today, this is most typically a reference to a negative event.

Can you think of any events in recent history or better yet in your life that would be considered a black swan?

You might think of September 11, 2001 or Pearl Harbor.  You might think of when a significant family member passed away unexpectedly or when you or someone close to you came down with cancer or diabetes.

I have been thinking of this idea of black swan recently with what my father-in-law is going through.  He injured his knee a few weeks ago and as he was reaching for some pain medicine in the cabinet he blacked out.  He woke up bruised and unable to move on the floor.  Over the course of the next few hours he made his way across the floor to his bedroom where he got to his phone and called his son.  12 hours later paramedics were taking him away in an ambulance.  His heart stopped 4 times that night and he now has a pacemaker.  Less than 2 years ago he had a physical that showed him to be as strong and healthy as a horse.  It just doesn’t make sense.  This was totally unexpected.  His life will never be the same.

This was definitely a black swan.

What kind of emotions does a person go through when they are faced with a black swan?

Pain
Saddness
Fear
Worry
Doubt

Listen to the following song by Athlete.

Athlete on MUZU.

Can you identify the black swan?

What feelings are expressed as a result of the main characters black swan?

The chorus form this song is as follows:

I’ve been racing the clock,
And I’ve run out of steam,
I am ready for my final symphony.
Oh, my body is weak,
But my soul is still strong,
I am ready to rest in your arms.

The character struggles to keep going.  He is scared and just wants the terror to end.  He is ready for his “final symphony”, his swan song.  He just wants it to all be over.  He feels physically weak and just wants peace.  Certain scriptures come to my mind when I hear this chorus:

Matthew 26:41 - Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

Matthew 11:28 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

I think, at times like this, it is quite common, whether we admit it or not, to cry out to God and ask if he notices our suffering?  Does he care?  Why would he allow you to suffer through such pain and agony if He was really looking out for you?

I believe He does care and I believe it pains Him to see us suffer.

Look at the story of Jesus and Lazarus from John 11.  Jesus hangs back a few days before going to see his friend and when he gets there Lazarus has been dead for 4 days.  Lazarus’s sisters Mary and Martha are torn apart by what seemed like Jesus’ lack of concern for their brother. “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.” cries Martha.  According to John, Jesus knew all along what he was going to do.  He knew before Lazarus died that he would bring him back from the dead and yet when he saw the pain in the eyes of the family and friends he could not help but feel their pain.

He cared deeply about them.

Even knowing what was about to happen, Jesus broke down and wept with them.  He understood their feelings of loss and sorrow.  It was agonizing to witness such pain.  He cared about them and he cares about us, too.

Even though I walk 
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me; 
your rod and your staff, 
they comfort me. - Psalm 23:4

He is with us always, walking beside us and comforting us.

I think Paul had the best attitude when it came to black swans.  Listen to what Paul says in his letter to the church in Philippi:

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know!  I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.  Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.

Paul is writing this letter from prison and would love to just die and be done with it, but he knows that he has something to gain from this experience and something left to offer as words of hope and encouragement to those who will listen.  He understood the need to go on, if not for himself for others.  You’ve got to know that the young up-and-coming pharisee Paul would have never imagined he would go from killing Christians to being imprisoned for being the most outspoken of them all!

But Paul would not give up.

He would not let this black swan be the end.

He would not allow this black swan to be his swan song.

Let me tell you one last story to explain what I mean.  There is a young woman I know that loved to play basketball.  Not only did she love the sport, she was amazing at it.  Her future was defined by what she could do in athletics.  This would be the key to college scholarships.  Possibly she would pursue the WNBA or coaching or who knows?  However you looked at it, everything revolved around basketball.

And then her freshman year of high school the doctors told her that she had a choice.

She could play basketball now or she could walk when she was 35.

She had terrible knees and playing basketball would cripple her.  She was devastated.  How could something like this happen?  Why would this gift be taken from her?  What was she supposed to do with her life now that basketball was gone?

Her depression over this loss lasted a couple of years.  But if you talk to this high school senior today you will not find a person without hope.  You will also not find a person who’s life has anything to do with basketball either.  Because of different opportunities that opened up for her over the past few years, her heart and mind have been molded into a passion that can only be from God.  She wants to go into business and create a company that works much like Tom’s Shoes.  She wants to create a business dedicated to making a difference in the world to care for those less fortunate and hurting.

Her black swan was not her swan song.

And the world will be a better place for it.

May God bring us comfort during our times of pain and sorrow and guide us with his comforting hand through the struggles that shatter our world and change our lives forever.

And may we look to find the purpose in God’s plan, to rise from the ashes and make a difference in the world around us because of the different circumstances that surround us.

You can watch the trailer for “Away We Go” on YouTube here.

Here is the plot summary from IMDB.com - A couple who is expecting their first child travel around the U.S. in order to find a perfect place to start their family. Along the way, they have misadventures and find fresh connections with an assortment of relatives and old friends who just might help them discover “home” on their own terms for the first time.

I have to say that I really liked this movie.  It spoke to me in a way that very few movies have.  This is basically a coming of age movie for couples in their 30’s.  It sounds funny to think of a coming of age story at that point in life, but there is a great transition that happens in a relationship when 2 become 3 or more.  This transition has taken place in my life within the past 5 years and the memories are still fresh and I am honestly still processing some of the questions of parenting, spousal relationships, friendships, and all that that this movie can and does dig up.

I am so torn as to what to say about this movie.  I really, really want to recommend this movie to everyone I know, but there is so much in there that I think would be offensive to so many people.  How do you recommend a movie like that?  I think there is a great message here about commitment and love.  About making purposeful decisions rather than just reacting to life and finding yourself somewhere you never meant to be.  About building your family’s life around what is important to your family rather than outside influences.  About realizing the gift of family and the blessing of children and parents.  About doubt and uncertainty.  I am sure there is more, but that is what comes to mind as I write this.

I would love to be able to watch this movie with some other young couples and talk about the themes presented.  But I am afraid that so many people would not be able to see the messages in this movie because of some of the movie’s crass humor or sexual themes.  It is unfortunate that small things can distract and distort the bigger things.  Oh, well…

Good movie with a powerful story that I don’t feel I can recommend to anyone.  After reading this review, if you are willing to take the chance on this movie, let me know what you think!

This last week, I have been suffering a great deal of pain.  I have had back issues for a few years now and have found great relief by going to the chiropractor.  I had been fairly regular in my visits to the chiropractor, once a month until this summer.  I slacked off and for the past month I have told myself I needed to get back on track.  Minor aches and pains bothered me, but for the most part nothing big.  That is until this last Monday.  It seemed like there was no warning.  The pain got steadily worse as the day went on and by that night, it was intense.  I could not find relief by the typical pain medications.  I found a bottle of codeine left over from a root canal a few years ago and decided to give it a try.  That stuff worked like magic and cut through the pain, but I knew this was not going to be something I should continue to do.  I called the chiropractor the next morning and was able to get an appointment that day to get adjusted.  I have now been three times this week and the pain is more manageable.  When necessary, I can just use tylenol and the pain subsides.

The chiropractor informed me that my symptoms indicate a herniated disc in my spine, but a diagnosis could not be certain without an MRI.  I might eventually need an MRI, but for the time, he can treat my condition all the same.  I am so thankful to be able to be able to go to the doctor and have my needs cared for.

All this being said, I try not to hurt myself or do anything too strenuous.  I have been taking it easy and this is tough because there things that I enjoy doing that push me past my tolerance levels.  Things like lifting my children and carrying them have become extremely taxing.  Not cool.

The other day, one of our older ladies at the church found me and asked if I could help her carry a box of material inside the church for some quilting that was going to happen in a couple weeks.  I agreed and was thankful that it was a small and fairly light box.  Not too bad.

This lady is so sweet and had no idea that I was injured otherwise I am sure she would not have asked.  When she saw me she did not see someone who was broken or wounded.  She could not see my injury or pain.  I looked just fine to her and she had no idea what was going on inside.  I carried around a hidden wound and my healing is slow and difficult.

My wound is physical, but many of us carry around mental or emotional wounds that are just as debilitating and crippling to our spiritual journey with God.  We seem just fine from the outside.  We carry on our lives in front of others as if nothing is wrong most of the time and no one ever knows how we hurt.  Not unless we allow others in on our secret.

My wife has been wonderful.  She is amazing and sensitive and helpful.  She has not allowed me to do things that would cause me pain or continue to injure my back.  She has looked out for me and protected me.  I can’t imagine what it would be like without her love and care.

I know there are a million resources out there on spiritual and emotional healing so I don’t intend to explore all of that her or even to site resources I have found.  Google it and you will come up with more than you will be able to go through.  The one thing that I want to emphasize in this post is the amazing blessing it is to have people around you that you can share your pain with.  People who can love you, help you, hold you accountable so you don’t hurt yourself more, and walk alongside you as you work through your pain.  God blesses us in times like these with the people he surrounds us with and if we are willing we can be used by God to be a blessing to others.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Well, I didn’t get many comments from my last blog post.  I am sure that the 18 million people who visited my site had something to contribute…

What was that?

Oh…18 people…not 18 million…

Thank you Google Analytics for keeping me humble…

I do get comments, some on the web, and some in person.  I really appreciate the feedback.  It turns this into a conversation instead of a lecture! (Really, who wants a lecture!?)

I love the song in the last post.  I hope you took the time to listen to it.  It is beautiful and poignant.  There are a few things that I want to point out from the song that I think sum up the point of this portion of my thoughts about ordinary people.

There is a committed relationship.  The man is singing to his beloved and his message is one of unity.  He is not hiding any of the feelings that they both share.  They both make mistakes and they both often feel like giving up and walking away, but they are committed to one another and this relationship.  Do we see this kind of relationship of commitment in the body of Christ?  How about just in your local church you are a part of?  This disunity that I mentioned in part 2a comes from our lack of commitment to our church family.  We don’t see it like we see a marriage or our view of marriage is shaky.  The last thing we want to happen to a marriage is divorce.  The last thing we should want to happen in a church family is for someone to leave the family and try to find a place somewhere else or worse yet, to not care about finding that place.  This song gives us the picture of love we should see when we look at our church family.  Christ looks at the church as his bride and if we follow his example, we would too.

A friend shared a story with me of a time when she heard through the grapevine that her son had gotten a tongue ring.  She was so upset about this.  She admits that she does not know why it upset her so much, but she was livid.  She went right up to him and told him that it was either her or the tongue ring.  She walked out the door to leave and go to work, but before she ever reached her car he turned her around and held out his hand.  In it was the tongue ring.  She meant more to him than any fashion statement.  He loved her enough to put aside what he wanted and what he thought was cool.  Because he loved her he made a sacrifice for her.  Do we love our church family enough to sacrifice for them? Even when we don’t agree with what is happening?  Especially when we don’t agree with what is happening?  Do we love them this much?

As we look more at this song we see a story of give and take.  Back and forth.  One line says “as our love advances we take second chances”.  We don’t have the patience for second chances without love.  We don’t give second chances without a love that doesn’t keep a record of wrong.  We need a love that hopes.  A love that perseveres. A love that never fails.

The climax of the song does a back and forth with possibilities…

live and learn…crash and burn

maybe you’ll stay…maybe you’ll leave…maybe you’ll return

maybe another fight…maybe we won’t tonight

and then the final line with hope and encouragement says “maybe we’ll grow”…

There is a love that doesn’t want to give up.  There is a love that will give it a second chance.  There is a love that grows closer and tighter through the good times and the bad.  There is a love of Christ.

There is a line in this song repeated dozens of times “Maybe we should take it slow”.  When I hear this I think of the verse in James 1:19:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

It is like the temper tantrum control method where we take a deep breath, count to ten, and then react.

I guess sometimes we could count to 10,000 and we still struggle to find peace and love for our church family.  We need to take things slow and allow ourselves to handle difficult situations with love.  We need to be committed enough to each other that we are willing to take it slow, to love like Christ, and find a way to make things work.

We need to love these ordinary people.

We need to be loved as we, too, are ordinary people.

Then, because we love each other enough to get along, our efforts will be united to heal our hurting world.

Then, because we love each other enough to get along, the good news of God can be heard.

Because we love each other enough.

I recently had the privilidge of reading Donald Miller’s new book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.  In this book, Donald Miller takes us through the process of editing a life in order to write a story, his life to be exact.  As always, Miller mixes humor with insight to share his wisdom about how to intentionally live a life as a story with a purpose.

This book is almost too easy to read.  It is deceptive in its simplicity when the concepts and ideas are so powerful and profound.  I think often with books like this, the worth of the book lies in its power to actually affect the way you look at life or live life after the last page is read.  I mentioned in an earlier blog post that things that fit into this category are not common.  When something comes along that actually changes you, it is remarkable.

I believe my life is different after reading this book.  I couldn’t wait to share with my wife what I had read and what we should do.  I was really inspired by this book and I want to purposefully create a story for myself and my family.  Miller paints a beautiful picture of a scene after death where we sit with God under a tree and share with Him the stories from our lives.  I pray that I have many stories to share with God and to hear Him say, “Yes, I remember that. I was there. This is a good story.  Well done!”

Please listen to the following song by John Legend called “Ordinary People”. I plan to follow up this post with how I believe this song can shed some light on how to love church people. I have pasted the lyrics below. Please leave a comment with your thoughts and ideas.

(Due to copyright restrictions I don’t think I can upload the mp3 I have on my computer to this site. I don’t know why, but the embedded player will only play 30 sec. of the song. Please click the link that says “Play Full Song Here” to listen to the entire song on imeem.com.)

Ordinary People - John Legend

“Ordinary People”

Girl, I’m in love with you,
but this ain’t the honeymoon
we’re past the infatuation phase.
We’re right in the thick of love,
at times we get sick of love,
it seems like we argue every day.

[Bridge]

I know I misbehaved
and you made your mistakes
and we both still got room left to grow.
And though love sometimes hurts,
I still put you first
and we’ll make this thing work,
but I think we should take it slow.

[Chorus]

We’re just ordinary people,
we don’t know which way to go.
‘Cos we’re ordinary people,
Maybe we should take it slow.
Take it slow.
This time we’ll take it slow.
Take it slow.
This time we’ll take it slow.

[Verse 2]

This ain’t a movie no,
no fairy tale conclusion ya’ll,
it gets more confusing every day.
Oh, sometimes it’s heaven sent,
then we head back to hell again,
we kiss then we make up on the way.

[Bridge]

I hang up, you call,
we rise and we fall
and we feel like just walking away,
but as our love advances
we take second chances,
though it’s not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay.

[Chorus]

We’re just ordinary people,
we don’t know which way to go.
‘Cos we’re ordinary people,
Maybe we should take it slow.
Take it slow.
This time we’ll take it slow.
Take it slow.
This time we’ll take it slow.

[Verse 3]

Take it slow.

Maybe we’ll live and learn,
maybe we’ll crash and burn,
maybe you’ll stay, maybe you’ll leave,
maybe you’ll return.
Maybe another fight,
maybe we won’t survive,
but maybe we’ll grow,
we never know, baby you and I.

[Chorus]

We’re just ordinary people,
we don’t know which way to go.
‘Cos we’re ordinary people,
Maybe we should take it slow.
We’re just ordinary people,
we don’t know which way to go.
‘Cos we’re ordinary people,
Maybe we should take it slow.
Take it slow.
This time we’ll take it slow.
Take it slow.
This time we’ll take it slow.
Take it slow.
This time we’ll take it slow.

I want to continue this discussion about what it means to think of ourselves as ordinary people.  This was not intended to be a degrading comment, but possibly an idea that places us on equal ground to gain a perspective of our place in life…and our potential.  I think this continued conversation about ordinary people has many different points that all help us gain a different perspective on how we live life in this world filled with a bunch of ordinary people.

Lets look at a question to help us set the tone of this conversation and give us some roots.

Why do we put up with the people in our church?

I bet there are thoughts of people right now swimming through your head about people that bother you, anger you, hurt you, or annoy you at your church.  I mean there has to be at least one person that rubs you the wrong way.  We are human and we will have our issues, right?

So why do we put up with each other or maybe a better question, what enables us to put up with each other?

Love

It sounds simple, but can be so hard.  Lets look at the how Paul describes love in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.   Love never fails. (NIV)

I think we seriously grapple with many of these things.

love is patient…wow…and that was the first one!

Love does not keep a record of wrongs…really?

Love always trusts…come on!

If we can do this love stuff with our church family, then I think we can do anything!  I say this with a bit of sarcasm and a bit of truth.  This kind of love is the hardest thing that we struggle to do and if we as Christians were truely united with this kind of love the world would be a different place.

The world would be different.

I truly believe what I just said and I truly believe we fail to do this.  Why would there be so many different denominations if we could get along? Or better yet, why would there be so many different churches of the same denomination in one town if we could get along?  I understand the history of church planting.  Communities with a church on every corner, but that was 50 years ago.  Today, I would wager that the number one reason most churches are created today, or have been created in the past 20 yeas, is because we can’t get along with each other so we decide to take the easy way out and disassociate ourselves with our now former family.  We choose not to show love and instead choose to distance ourselves into two separate entities.

The voice of God cannot be heard over the roar of our debates and bickering.  The message of God never has the chance to reach the ears of the unbeliever because we fill the air with our message of discontentment with each other.

Because we don’t love each other enough to get along our efforts are not united to heal our hurting world.

Because we don’t love each other enough to get along the good news of God cannot be heard.

Because we don’t love each other enough.

Please take the time to experience the next post Ordinary People (part 2b) and leave a comment with your thoughts.