The Bald Goat

Welcome to day 3 of the Week of Love. Day one was my beautiful wife and best friend, Amy. Day two was my one and only daughter and the most beautiful girl in the world, Piper. Now, day three is Finn, my favorite child.

Wait…Can I say that?

Is that true? My favorite?

Can a parent have a favorite? Is that allowed? Is that wrong? Does that make me a bad parent?

It is not true. He is not my favorite. I honestly don’t have a favorite, but for a while I struggled with feelings that I did. I asked myself all the questions I posed above.

Let me tell you a little about Finn Tagnan Voss and explain the struggle I was having. (By the way his middle name, Tagnan, is from the Three Muskateers, DarTagnan. It is French and the “gn” make a “nya” sound.) 

Finn is one of the sweetest kids you might ever meet. He has a way of sensing other people’s feelings. He is sometimes overly sensitive and can get his feelings hurt easily. That can be a problem, but mostly he is the first to give hugs. The first to say hi. He will flash the “I love you” sign language to you and smile from ear to ear. He doesn’t necessarily care about what he wants to do, but really enjoys just spending time with you doing whatever you want to do. (It helps greatly if that thing you want to do just happens to be video games, though!) He is smart and funny. He loves to please you and make you laugh. He is a very sweet and special kid and I love him very much.

But he is not my favorite…because I don’t have one. I can’t. All of my children are amazing and each in their own special way. I grow to love them more and more each and every day.

I think my feelings of favorite were based on the fact that Finn is very likable and we are very much alike in many ways. Finn wants to please you in whatever way he can. He is a people pleaser and that just draws you in and creates an others first mentality. When you are the “other” that he is putting first it is easy to feel the love that the person is expressing. It is a joy and pleasure to spend time with Finn. Finn and I connect on many of the same things. We both want to do our best and don’ give up easily. We both love video games. We both look stunning with a Mohawk (He actually wears it better than me, but we both love to have that cool haircut!) Finn will actually sit and watch an entire movie with you. (Many kids including all the rest of mine struggle to make it through the previews without getting antsy!) We both love music and can recognize a tune a sing it…from another room…while doing something else…and not even know what we are doing!

Finn is easy to love. You feel loved when you spend time with Finn. We connect on many levels because we have similar interests. But he is not my favorite because I don’t have one. But I have to make sure I don’t treat him like a favorite just because it is natural to be drawn to him. I don’t ignore Finn, that would just be wrong! But I make an effort to connect with my other children, too. I actually get to learn from Finn in this area. To enjoy spending time doing whatever the other person wants to do and put them first. Whether that means painting toenails or watching Barny…live, to show them love by loving what they love.

Lord, thank you for giving me such an amazing family. I thank you for Finn and for the connections we have and I pray that we never lose the special bond we have. Thank you for letting me learn the lessons of unconditional love from Finn that can make every relationship in my life stronger.