The Bald Goat

Have you ever had one of those days where you just felt like a failure as a parent? Yesterday was one of those days where I messed up so bad that I wanted to crawl in a hole and just hide from everyone. I need to tell you what  happened.

Amy and i split up after church to get our kids from their classes. A divide and conquer mentality if there ever was one! I had headed out with Piper, Finn and Seven while Amy walked with Rilian out to the van. When My group got to the van they were bouncing excitedly as they always do and I was picking up papers and junk from the floor of the van. Before church the kids had been fighting over a sun shade. You know the kind that sticks to the window with suction cups and pulls down to provide shade? Well, I saw this thing lying on the floor and thought, “I’m gonna just tuck this thing up front and prevent some arguments. Sounds like a good plan, right?

But Seven would not have it. He began throwing a fit and wanting the sun shade. In an instant I was frustrated and threw the sun shade back to him. As it left my hand I knew I had made a mistake. My “toss” was overzealous and as the object of mass destruction hurled through the air I knew I was now the worst parent in the world. Screams much louder than the tantrum were now coming from Seven. A gash appeared across his nose and it began to swell before we left the parking lot. I could not apologize enough. My day had become miserable…

I felt such guilt and shame. What a stupid thing to do. How did this happen? What snapped in me and made me think throwing the sun shade to him was a good idea? Didn’t we, as parents, constantly tell our children not to throw things in the car because someone could get hurt? Time to listen to yourself, dad…

We were headed to my parent’s house for lunch and made a pit stop by our house for some Tylenol and a band aid. Seven let me doctor him, but kept a pouty face and tears going the whole time. He won’t turn out like Owen Wilson, but today he looked pretty rough.When we got to my parent’s house Seven waited for me and wanted me to carry him inside. I picked him up and he put his head on my shoulder. In an instant I knew he forgave me and loved me. I couldn’t cherish that moment enough.

Lord, thank you for the grace and forgiveness of my children. Thank you for building that into the make up of children so that parents like me have a chance. Thank you for the blessing of my children. Help me everyday to be a good father.