The Bald Goat

In July of 2010 I lost my job as Youth Minister. The economy had finally caught up to this little congregation and they could no longer support a full staff. My full time position, a part time college ministry position, and a missionary in Kenya were all let go. None of us had done anything wrong. There just simply wasn’t money there to keep us.

On the Sunday that the elders were going to make the announcement to the congregation, we were told that if it would be easier on our families we didn’t have to be at church when the announcement was made. So we decided to visit a church that we had heard about and always wanted to visit. It is a great church, one that we call home now. All of the things were present that morning that made us want to be a part of that family today, but I can’t remember thinking about any of that. I can remember only one thing from that day. The way I felt.

I was feeling pretty low. I was struggling with self doubt and a lack of self confidence. I didn’t know if I should try to continue to be a pastor. I didn’t know what direction to go. I felt lost and scared. It was a rough day emotionally and we were on our way to visit a new church which can always bring a higher level of anxiety.

I received a message that day. Amy and I both did. We have talked about it since then and we can agree that the message was clear. It is the message in the following song. That day, God told us he loves us.

It seemed as if the whole message that day was focused around this song. We sang it before the pastor got up to give his message and it was as if this idea permeated every thought. But I went back to the sermon online and I don’t see this message there. The sermon from that day is there, but I don’t see THIS message. God made sure we heard a very important message that day. One that may not have been a part of the plan of the leaders of the congregation, but one that our hearts needed to hear. And it was loud and clear. I cried a lot during services that morning. Tears of pain and tears of love. 

Lord, thank you for speaking to us. Speaking directly to us. For using each of us to speak into the lives of others and prick our hearts. Thank you for your love.